Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
