And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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