Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This girl is more easily done than said...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
