her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
