im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
