Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
where does the pee come out of this thing
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
