when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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