her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
What changed your mind?
Being sober
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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