Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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