he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
