i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
