$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
