What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
