My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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