Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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