"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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