Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
