quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
