I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
