when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
