I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
