I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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