So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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