i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
