No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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