i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
