This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
