U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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