all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
