I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
