that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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