Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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