i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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