I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
