yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
