Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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