Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
