you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize