Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
