So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
