youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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