apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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