I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
