So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
