it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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