Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Mom said you looked used
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
