Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize