I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
