i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
And then he peed in my hair
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