You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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