Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
