ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
