im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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