my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
where does the pee come out of this thing
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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