I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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