Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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