Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
