do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
