God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
