I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
